Happy But Sad

Today I have been on an emotional roller coaster. Firstly, we had our 24 week appt and everything went great. The girls are getting so big and their mom is getting even bigger. They each weigh around a pound and a half and are growing rapidly right now. The last appt the babies were laying on top of one another like bunk beds but today one was breached and the other was lying vertical. So they are L shaped in my tummy :)

Sad to hear the news from a great friend of mine. She had her 5th miscarriage last week and just told me today. I am so sad for her. Especially since I am having twins and I feel bad contacting her because I dont want her to get upset. The last thing I want is for her to be hurt. She is my age, 25, and we have known each other since grade school. I cant imagine what is going through her mind right now. I have a slight idea because of my experiences with infertility but to lose 5 pregnancies I am speachless. She said her RE has told them they will need IVF if they ever plan to have children - which they dont have the thousands of dollars to do. I really really hope that they get a little miracle and are able to conceive on their own and can carry their peanut/peanuts to term. Please God if there is anything you can do for them, they are amazing people who deserve nothing but the best

It's Never Easy

I haven't had that much difficulties but have been worried sick the entire pregnancy so far. Got pregnant back in November and baby stopped developing at 9 weeks - had a D&C to remove remains. Got pregnant once again in February/March and unfortunately had another miscarriage - passed everything naturally. This pregnancy was very hard to accept because of our prior losses. You never want to forget the babies you lost nor ever replace them. Went in at 5 weeks to get HCG levels checked and they were very high so nurse thought it could be ectopic. Tried to be optomistic but it was hard. Fortunately, next HCG was raising appropriately but was still high, now they say it could be multiples. 7 week ultrasound they confirmed two sacs and two babies. We were estatic that we were having twins. The u/s tech said that one was about a week behind and they will monitor us closely to make sure he/she catches up with the other. Week 16 had major cramping and pressure pains - was advised to go to Labor and Delivery (was scared outta our minds) and turns out it was a false alarm. 18 week u/s doctor tells us that smaller baby is still about 4 days behind and it may be chromosomal abnormities. We opt out of testing but she insists that we get tested for Trisomy 21 (downs). So we do the testing and have to wait about a week for the results which is like torture - we didnt want to know but now that we did the testing we were worried. Tested negative for trisomy 21 thank goodness. 23 weeks along strong cramping comes back along with some major back pain. Doctor insists I go to the Emergency room to be checked out. Cramps went away so we opted out and everything is okay. We were already worried sick this entire pregnancy because of our history and just the little things that we've been through so far makes me believe that this will be our one and only pregnancy. I dont think I can do this all again physically, mentally and emotionally. I just cant wait until we have our healthy babies in our arms - but yet I doubt the worry for our children will ever go away.

Dear God, thank You for giving me such a beatiful life and filling it with such beautiful people. I am so very excited to meet our two little girls and couldn't be any happier. I love everything in my life and wouldn't change anything if I could. Thank You, You are amazing for giving this all to me. Amen