Results are In

I called the nurse yesterday afternoon and she had confirmed that my HCG levels had gone down which means this was considered another m/c (it would be an abnormal pregnancy if they went up). It's like I didn't already know that, but hey Doc, thanks for the confirmation. She then scheduled me an appointment Monday afternoon to meet with the doctor and talk about our options from here. Now it doesn't bother me at all to wait until Monday for an appointment because we already have heard the medical crap before but you would think if someone had a m/c they would get you in right away and talk to the doctor. I mean, this is a pretty big deal! If this was my FIRST m/c and they had me wait till Monday, I'd be pist and ask to come in sooner. Who wants to stew over this all weekend and not even get the chance to see a doctor or ask questions till then? And because of that it is when we resort to the Internet for our answers. Ever since my first m/c I had become obsessed about finding out anything and everything about a m/c and it was all online. You have to take in consideration though that everyone has their own opinion and every medical practice does things differently. I only hope that they had me wait till the next available appointment because they know we have been through this before and do not do this to woman with their first m/c.

I'm honestly coping better this time, and so is he. We have really learned how to lean on one another which makes things easier. But just because I am coping better doesn't mean that I'm not devastated about what happened AGAIN. I have just accepted the fact that there was nothing I could have done. I am really looking forward to the genetic counseling though. I hope that it helps prevent this ever again in the future. But for now I just continue to be sad and envy every pregnant woman I see. After the first lost I was still hopeful, but now I feel like shit and am losing all hope. Like it or not....this is my life.