Here We Are Again

So we are back in the waiting game as I am currently 2 DPO. We really didn't BD as much as I wanted to this month but that is becoming more and more of a problem. I don't understand why his sex drive is so low sometimes. I feel like I'm always the initiator. Should I be worried? I guess we were planning on not really "trying" this month anyways and were just going to go with the flow. I did take my prescription of Clomid during AF and am now taking Estrogen to thicken my uterus lining. I just hope this is our month as I am getting sick of saying that yet month after month. Can you sense that I'm a little feisty today?

On the home front everything is good. Don't really have any complaints. We have found a beautiful piece of property that we are looking into financing for. It is a little over 20 acres about 25 minutes away in Vicksburg, Michigan. It would definitely be a place to develop on one day. I would like to get going on buying this property because then maybe that will give me something to get my mind off of ttc. I never in my life thought it would be like this. There are some woman who ttc for years and years and I'm sitting here complaining about getting 2 BFN's. I guess I'm getting used to feeling sorry for myself.

Last weekend was great. I had a few girlfriends come visit from up North and he had a few friends visit as well and we all hit it off and had an awesome weekend. His brother's wedding is next weekend. I am excited and it should be a fun time. Me and him are in the wedding so I have a feeling it will be very busy and the weekend is going to fly by. Thank goodness it's Memorial Weekend and I have a 4 day weekend. I will definitely need one full day to re cooperate.

So the wait is on, and we are here again. I've decided to take a HPT on Memorial Day as it would be a fun surprise to me and him if it was a BFP. I'm just ready to be myself again and to stop being so down. I am very hard on myself and by failing in the fertility department it's hardly forgivable. I guess all I can do is be patient because God has a plan for me. AF is due on the second and if that is what's in store for me then bring it on!

Dear God, firstly I want to pray for all the angel babies that You have created. I hope they are having the best life possible that the earth could not give them. I want to thank You for giving my love to me as he has made me so very happy and yet continues to. I thank You for my health and wisdom as well. You decided that Becky's beautiful angel wasnt meant for earth and she is now heartbroken. Please help her during this very painful time and I hope she becomes closer to You.