Try Again

I ended up taking a HPT with a friend this week. I had a feeling that I would get a BFN but I decided to test anyways. She got a very faint line (positive) and I got absolutely nothing (BFN). I felt like crap that my body has again failed me. We actually "tried" this month and I didn't fall pregnant. Yet the months that we don't try, we fall pregnant. So because of that we have decided not to "try" anymore. It is stressful and it has taken away much of the romance. I'm fine with the decision for now. If we don't get pregnant again for a few months then I will definitely want to be more proactive.

Sad to report that AF came Friday but on a positive note she came a day early. I guess that's the consolation prize that I win if you call that a prize at all. I've decided that the only thing that will continue this month will be my prescription of Clomid. I have a OB appointment on Tuesday and I will talk to her to see what she suggests. I don't mind being on the fertility drug although I think it may be hurting me more than helping me. Sorry if TMI but a side affect that I have gotten was I am as dry as the Sahara "down there" lately. That cant be good for his spermies. If only I could see into the future or someone could tell me what I should be doing to be successful at fertility. I've officially become a pregnancy flunky. Here's to another month. We wont be trying but we also wont be preventing. Fingers and toes are crossed. Please let this be our month.

Dear God, Thank You for your presence in my life. I see the miracles that You perform everyday. I know I don't give You the credit you deserve and sometimes can be selfish. Lately I have been asking for favors and for help. I just want You to know how thankful I am for you giving Your life for us. My faith in you has never left, I had only misplaced it for a bit. Thank you for being patient with me. Amen