9 DPO

Well I made it to 9 DPO.... I don't know how I did it without ripping my hair out but I'm here. Trying to conceive has not been a fun task in my life. After my first m/c people would say "Just think of how much fun you will have 'trying'". I wish I could go back and tell them IT HAS NOT BEEN FUN. My second m/c came and gone and now we are back in the group of trying all over again. Does this ever get easier? I'm not sure. I have my days when I am so grateful for being blessed with everything in my life, but I also have the bad days when I feel like I'm the unluckiest person in the world. God must really have a great sense of humor.

I have met a few woman on a medical site who I have grown very close to. We are all in the process of TTC after loss and we can share our experiences with each other. One lady in particular is on the same cycle as me. She is a true Godsend and she has supported me through this whole waiting process. We have agreed to be cycle buddies and will be taking a HPT tomorrow morning together. She will be the first person to know the result besides my love. I will be so very excited for both of us if we get our BFP as we can track our pregnancy together online. I have never been so nervous though about testing. I am feeling very down today and don't think I will get my BFP and she will. I will still be very happy for her if she does, but I will be upset that my body has failed me once again. Cant something just go right for once?

Next weekend we are taking a mini-vacay to Detroit with some friends to see a few Tigers games. I'm pretty excited to get away and it will take my mind off of TTC. Plus I love spending time with him outside of the house. We will close on that thought.

Dear God, I am not sure what I am supposed to be learning but I hope I find out soon. All I know is the power that you have is amazing and I know that you can help us with this one little wish. I want to make him happy, our families happy, and to make You happy. I know I can do that when I prove to you how I was made to be a mother. Just give me the chance and I will show you. I will be forever in your debt. I also pray for my friend Becky who has also been burned with infertility. She is so deserving to be a mother to another beautiful baby. Please protect her and her family. Amen.